Nine months.

Nine months or so have passed since you shared your seed, and she’s about to pop. It’s probably been at least six months since you and future-mom were intimate (she may have been afraid your huge penis might dent her baby’s head). A few token hand jobs are in no way enough to disguise the fact that the woman you found hot enough to sleep with is now fat, sweaty, miserable, moody, and probably puking in the brand new Subaru station wagon that you hate but she forced you to purchase.

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