America’s Heroes are Zeroes.

In 1989 Will Smith was arrested over an alleged vicious assault which took place in Philadelphia. Smith – who at the time of the arrest was 20 – was involved in an argument which resulted in a man almost losing sight in one eye. Today, Smith is revelled as one of Hollywood’s most sought after actors and is worth an estimated $250 million.

Jack Black spilled his guts to a school therapist telling him he felt guilty about stealing from his mom to get money for cocaine. “In ninth grade, I did acid and cocaine. I wanted desperately to be an American badass. There’s something so romantic, when you’re a kid, about being a criminal. You want to belong to the tough-guy club. Running from the cops. Hiding in the bushes. Making schemes and plans to get it over on the Man.” Black is worth an estimated $20 million.

Just 16 in 1988, the boy who would become film star Mark Wahlberg assaulted two Asian men while trying to steal two cases of beer from a convenience store. More than 25 years later, Wahlberg, a devout Catholic and philanthropist, has made a much publicized and much debated request for a pardon for his crime. In Philadelphia, he was invited to introduce the Pope. Wahlberg is estimated to be worth about $200 million.

Fans assumed they knew everything that there could possibly be known about Kim Kardashian’s sex tape with Ray J. It was that very intimate video that helped catapult the reality star’s career. It all started in 2003, when Kim Kardashian made a sex tape with her then-boyfriend, R&B singer Ray J. Four years later, the tape was allegedly leaked to Vivid Entertainment and released to the internet for the world to see. Today, people line up in stores to dress like her and smell like her, although she hasn’t really done much of anything. She’s worth an estimated $85 million.

Monica Lewinsky is a former White House intern with whom United States President Bill Clinton admitted to having had what he called an “inappropriate relationship” while she worked at the White House in 1995 and 1996. As a result of the scandal, Lewinsky gained worldwide celebrity status; she subsequently engaged in a variety of ventures including designing a line of handbags under her name, being an advertising spokesperson for a diet plan, working as a television personality, and then leaving the public spotlight to pursue a master’s degree in psychology in London. In 2014 she returned to public view, discussing the scandal and speaking out against cyberbullying. All this from giving head to a president. Lewinsky’s reported estimated net worth? Are you sitting down? $12 million.

Don’t even get me started on discussing virtually any hip-hop mogul, Michael Vick, Aaron Hernandez, Mike Tyson, Bill Cosby, Paul Reubens, Robert Downey Jr., the Hiltons, or virtually any Wall Street broker. It seems to be American policy to reward the misbehaving and unworthy. Can anyone explain why?


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