So I’m a “podcaster” now.


I withheld. For YEARS. I mean, I’m a busy guy. Three businesses and a family. I ain’t got time for no parenting podcast! It took me months to finish the Diary of an Angry Father audiobook. I sure as hell didn’t want to do that again.

But then this guy at WDN tells me about a similar guy and his potential reach, and how many other fathers and mothers my words of wisdom might help, and… whatever. I’ve probably been snookered again.

But I did it. And it’s hot. It’s bad-ass. It’s honest. It’s snarky. It’s real. It’s me. And it’s here:

We air twice a week, at noon on Tuesday and Friday. But supposedly, you can download a podcast and listen to it whenever you want, so I suppose that’s a plus. Please listen, download, like, favorite, idolize, or do whatever it is people do with podcasts. Share it with someone you love. Or hate. Thanks again for your support.



Top 5 Documentaries To Save Your Life.

When I embarked on my search for truth in everything, I thought a good place to begin was with what I put in my mouth. Yeah, yeah, heard that one before, jackass. My cholesterol was high. My heart began to do strange things. And I was beginning to look like I was pregnant with a “food baby.” Not a good look for anyone. Before I committed to a lifelong date with statins, I decided I was going to see if there was another way to get healthy instead of masking my symptoms.

That research changed my life. My cholesterol is down. My heart is behaving. And I delivered my food baby through my ass. It’s not there any longer. My physician was blown away. Of course she was – medical school all but ignores nutrition, despite Hippocrates’ famous quote: Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.

Like me, you might have a difficult time starting out in your research. I mean, come on – we’re Americans. It’s not cool to sit in a library or write research papers, right? A great place to begin is on your fat ass, on your comfy couch, armed with a remote control and the cheapest Netflix account you can afford. See them in this order if you have a choice.

1. Supersize Me (2004, Morgan Spurlock)

Oscar-nominated Morgan Spurlock endeavors to use his own body as a human guinea pig in a dangerous game of supersizing. Supersize Me follows a 30-day period from during which he ate only McDonald’s food. The film documents this lifestyle’s drastic effect on Spurlock’s physical and psychological well-being, and explores the fast food industry’s corporate influence, including how it encourages poor nutrition for its own profit. As a result, the then-32-year-old Spurlock gained 24 pounds; increased his cholesterol to 230 mg/dL; and experienced mood swings, sexual dysfunction, and fat accumulation in his liver. It took Spurlock fourteen months to lose the weight gained from his experiment using a vegan diet supervised by his then-girlfriend, a chef who specializes in gourmet vegan dishes. This is a terrific place to begin your own journey to healthy living. It’s what got me started.

2. Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead (2010, Joe Cross)

100 pounds overweight, loaded up on steroids and suffering from a debilitating autoimmune disease, Joe Cross is at the end of his rope and the end of his hope. In the mirror he saw a 310 pound man with one foot already in the grave. With doctors and conventional medicines unable to help long-term, Joe turns to the only option left, the body’s ability to heal itself. He trades in the junk food and hits the road with juicer and generator in tow, vowing only to drink fresh fruit and vegetable juice for the next 60 days. Across 3,000 miles Joe has one goal in mind: To get off his pills and achieve a balanced lifestyle. At a truck stop in Arizona, Joe meets a truck driver who suffers from the same rare condition. Phil Staples is morbidly obese weighing in at 429 lbs. As Joe is recovering his health, Phil begins his own epic journey to get well. This is step two towards believing food is the cure.

3. Food, Inc. (2008, Robert Kenner)

This documentary addresses the issue of corporate farming in America—and as you’ll find out, it’s a very big problem to tackle. TThe film’s first segment examines the industrial production of meat (chicken, beef, and pork), calling it inhumane and economically and environmentally unsustainable. The second looks at the industrial production of grains and vegetables, again labeling this economically and environmentally unsustainable. The film’s final segment is about the economic and legal power, such as food labeling regulations, the heavy use of petroleum-based chemicals in pesticides and fertilizers, and the promotion of unhealthy food consumption habits by the American public. This film will begin to introduce you to the American food business game.

4. Forks Over Knives (2011, Lee Fulkerson)

What has happened to us? Despite the most advanced medical technology in the world, we are sicker than ever by nearly every measure. Two out of every three of us are overweight. Cases of diabetes are exploding, especially amongst our younger population. About half of us are taking at least one prescription drug. Major medical operations have become routine, helping to drive health care costs to astronomical levels. Forks Over Knives examines the profound claim that most, if not all, of the degenerative diseases that afflict us can be controlled, or even reversed, by rejecting our present menu of animal-based and processed foods. A top surgeon and head of the Breast Cancer Task Force at the world-renowned Cleveland Clinic, found that many of the diseases he routinely treated were virtually unknown in parts of the world where animal-based foods were rarely consumed. You’ll begin to see that we are what we eat.

5. Food Matters (2008, James Colquhoun)

Food Matters is a 2008 film about nutrition. The filmmakers interviewed several world leaders in nutrition and natural healing who claim that not only are we harming our bodies with improper nutrition, but that the right kind of foods, supplements and detoxification can be used to treat chronic illnesses as fatal as terminally diagnosed cancer. It tends to label the medical industry as a “sickness industry,” which profits more from treating the symptoms of illness than curing.

This is just the beginning. There are many more documentaries that all seem to spread the same message. Makes you wonder. Made me healthier.

Top 10 Family Movies of All Time

Watching news reports of a group of idiot teens watching a man drown in a lake not ten minutes from my home and doing nothing, I began to think – those kids didn’t have enough family time. Ostensibly, these children’s parents didn’t have the time, foresight, or opportunity to teach their children to have a moral compass. What’s left is four soulless children on the fast track to the prison industrial complex.

I’m not gonna lie – lassoing your kids up for a family night is difficult. There are so many distractions – video games, YouTube, social media, Pokemon. You need to find a common ground that satisfies their curiosity as well as entertaining you. And that’s hard! If you leave the room, there goes family time.

Today’s kids aren’t as childish as you would hope. As a parent, especially of a tween or teen, you’ll need to be ten times more creative than any other movie buff or stupid parent blogger to keep them in the same room for two hours. Plus, your damn kids prolly saw every new movie out already, so you’ll need to dig back. Way back. I’ll be the first to admit that old movies typically suck – but the ones I’ve recommended below are timeless.

A few caveats. The movie should be funny, but also needs to ultimately teach a moral lesson. If it ain’t funny, it needs to keep moving to keep people interested. I can’t count the times kids left the room 20 minutes in. Have everyone put their phones in a basket and turn them off. They aren’t going to die if they don’t have their phones for a couple hours. And have a family dinner before the movie if you’ve got the time. That’s a nice extended intro to chat about current happenings. You can’t really talk during a movie.

Some have a few sexual references, so make sure you’ve already had that talk. If you’re freaky about that kind of shit, watch them yourselves first.

Also, always opt for the original. Chances are your brats haven’t seen that version on Netflix. Plus, there’s a certain charm in the originals that seems to be lost with today’s directors.


10. Home Alone (1990, Macaulay Culkin)

Home Alone is a 1990 American Christmas comedy film written and produced by John Hughes and directed by Chris Columbus. The film stars Macaulay Culkin as Kevin McCallister, a boy who is mistakenly left behind when his family flies to Paris for their Christmas vacation. Kevin initially relishes being home alone, but soon has to contend with two would-be burglars played by Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern. The film also features Catherine O’Hara and John Heard as Kevin’s parents.

Moral lesson: Always have a battle plan for adverse situations.

9. Karate Kid (1984, Ralph Macchio)

The Karate Kid is a 1984 American martial arts drama film produced by Jerry Weintraub, directed by John G. Avildsen, written by Robert Mark Kamen, and stars Ralph Macchio, Pat Morita and Elisabeth Shue.[4][5] It is an underdog story in the mold of a previous success, the 1976 film Rocky, which Avildsen also directed. The film features the Gōjū-ryū style of karate.[6] The Karate Kid was a commercial success upon release and garnered critical acclaim, earning Morita an Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor.

Moral lesson: There’s a specific order of things in Karate just like in nature. It is nature’s progression that allows animals to survive in the wild, and it’s Karate’s progression that would ultimately allow Daniel-san to succeed as a student.

8. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971, Peter Ostrum)

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory is a 1971 American musical fantasy film directed by Mel Stuart, and starring Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka. It is an adaptation of the 1964 novel Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl. David Seltzer, who went uncredited in the film, was brought in to re-work Dahl’s screenplay against his wishes, making major changes to the ending and adding musical numbers. These changes and other decisions made by the director led Dahl to disown the film. Seltzer’s changes were much better than the real story.

Moral lesson: Honesty is the best policy.

7. Wayne’s World (1992, Mike Myers)

Wayne’s World is a 1992 American comedy film directed by Penelope Spheeris, produced by Lorne Michaels and written by Mike Myers and Bonnie and Terry Turner. The film stars Myers as Wayne Campbell and Dana Carvey as Garth Algar. It was adapted from a sketch of the same name on NBC’s Saturday Night Live.[2][3] Wayne’s World follows Wayne Campbell, a young rock ‘n’ roll fan who lives with his parents and has a collection of hairnets and name tags from former jobs in the fast-food industry. However, he and his best friend Garth Algar, also a fan of rock ‘n’ roll, are producing a public-access television show titled Wayne’s World which they are broadcasting from Wayne’s parents’ basement. Everything changes when a studio decides to buy Wayne and Garth’s program in order to improve it. However, the studio slowly begins destroying the show. Wayne attempts to trust in his new girlfriend Cassandra and to save his channel.

Moral lesson: A flawless profile, a perfect body, the right clothes, and a great car can get you far in America, almost to the top, but it can’t get you everything.

5. Joe Dirt (2001, David Spade)

Joe Dirt is a 2001 American adventure comedy film starring David Spade, Dennis Miller, Christopher Walken, Adam Beach, Brian Thompson, Brittany Daniel, Jaime Pressly, Erik Per Sullivan, and Kid Rock. The film was written by Spade and Fred Wolf, and produced by Robert Simonds. The plot concerns a “white trash” young man, Joe Dirt, who at first seems to be a “loser”, a failure, an antihero. As he travels in search of his parents, his fine qualities are increasingly revealed. He ends up with a new “family” of close friends, people he has helped and who respect him. Critical reception was mostly negative, and the film was a modest financial success.

Moral lesson: Home is where you make it.

4. Ghostbusters (1984, Bill Murray)

When Doctors Venkman (Bill Murray), Stantz (Dan Aykroyd) and Spengler (Harold Ramis) suddenly find themselves downsized from the University’s parapsychology department, they decide to go the entrepreneurial route, chasing down ghosts and apparitions. But they face their greatest challenge when the beautiful Dana Barret (Sigourney Weaver) discovers her refrigerator door leads directly to the gates of hell. Now with the whole world watching, it’s up to the Ghostbusters to keep Manhattan from becoming a madhouse in this hilariously-haunting action-comedy.

Moral lesson: I ain’t afraid of no ghost. Hopefully your kids will no longer be either.

3. Big Daddy (Adam Sandler, 1999)

Immature 32-year-old bachelor slacker Sonny Koufax lives in New York City and refuses to take on adult responsibility. Despite having a law degree, he refuses to take the bar exam, works one day a week as a toll booth attendant and lives off a sizeable legal settlement from a minor accident. His girlfriend, Vanessa, threatens to break up with him unless he grows up. His roommate, Kevin Gerrity, proposes to his podiatrist girlfriend Corinne Maloney before he leaves for China for his law firm, and she accepts. Sonny constantly teases Corinne, especially about her former occupation at Hooters.

Moral lesson: You gotta grow up sometime, but who says you can’t have a little fun along the way?

2. Back to the Future (1985, Michael J. Fox)

Back to the Future is a 1985 American science-fiction adventure comedy film[6] directed by Robert Zemeckis and written by Zemeckis and Bob Gale. It stars Michael J. Fox as teenager Marty McFly, who is sent back in time to 1955, where he meets his future parents in high school and accidentally becomes his mother’s romantic interest. Christopher Lloyd portrays the eccentric scientist Dr. Emmett “Doc” Brown, Marty’s friend who helps him repair the damage to history by helping Marty cause his parents to fall in love. Marty and Doc must also find a way to return Marty to 1985. Bonus: there are two more films – more family time!

Moral lesson: Everything you do has repercussions throughout time.

1. Contact (1997, Jodie Foster)

Contact is a science fiction drama film directed by Robert Zemeckis. It is a film adaptation of Carl Sagan’s 1985 novel of the same name; Sagan and his wife Ann Druyan wrote the story outline for the film. Jodie Foster portrays the film’s protagonist, Dr. Eleanor “Ellie” Arroway, a SETI scientist who finds strong evidence of extraterrestrial life and is chosen to make first contact. The film also stars Matthew McConaughey, James Woods, Tom Skerritt, William Fichtner, John Hurt, Angela Bassett, Jake Busey, and David Morse.

Moral lesson: We’re all in this thing together.

Top 10 Jobs for Potheads.

Yay. So we’re a podcast now if you’re too lazy to read. Please subscribe and download it because it’s awesome, and I get paid like .0003 cents per download. Woo-wee. It’s here:

Now that pot is almost legal everywhere, you’ve got to make some bucks to buy those buds.

Long held secret in the underground economy, it’s time to flush out those jobs coveted by potheads.

Having been married to a drug addict and dragged through that hell for a decade, you can guess I have no patience for anyone who needs artificial life sweeteners. Whether you support the legalization of marijuana or not, you have to admit the stereotypical pot smoker is… well… let’s just say pretty laid back. Anyone who has bucked our legal system and its consequences over the past several decades is either too dumb to think clearly, or too villainous to care. Either way, I ain’t hiring him. Based on a very informal and highly subjective intellectual survey of an non-statistically significant group of entrepreneurs, here are our Top 10 Jobs for you Marijuana freaks.

10. Car detailer.

Wax on, wax off. Two incredibly simple motions for a head devoid of a functioning brain. There are no real educational requirements for a detailer. The labs have done all the chemistry for you, all you’ve got to do is slap the crap on and wipe it off. Plus — where do you think all that spare change you dropped between the seats goes? That’s right — munchies. I wouldn’t be surprised if the detailer eats those stale fries under the seat cushions too.

9. T-shirt maker.

It’s a well-known fact that most well-known artists were higher than kites when they created their well-known masterpieces. Art appreciation is insanely subjective and artists are typically vetted by unscrupulous capitalists, so you can surmise I’m not going to make any excuses for them. The lowest form of artist today is the T-shirt artist. Simply find yourself a used silkscreen at a garage sale, set up shop in a sweaty garage, hire a couple of like-minded tokers, and you’re now an enterprising business person creating concert t-shirt knockoffs.

8. Sign shop workers.

As a budding entrepreneur who frequently enlists the services of sign shops, I once thought sign shop employees (and owners) were on crack. Close, but no blunt. From spelling errors to late deliveries and broken contracts, there’s not much your typical sign shop can’t and won’t fudge up. Since real businesses use sign shops, you’ll make a few more bucks here than you would silkscreening or airbrushing t-shirts.

7. Tattoo parlor peeps.

Whilst on the topic of bad judgment, this is a double-hit. And that’s exactly what makes this a perfect job for a toker. You’ll get to display your artistic talents (or lack thereof) while taking an obligatory bi-hourly smoke break. What’s even better, you can compare hydroponic methods with your customers while you’re defacing their skin. What other job can you collect tips for permanently scarring the skin of another human being?

6. Quickie Mart.

Smoking dope leads to… MUNCHIES! This is the only case in which the “don’t get high on your own supply” mantra need not apply. Sure, they count inventory. But there’s always spoilage. Whoops! How did that bag of chips break open? And whoops — wow, that hot dog fell on the floor. Waste not want not! Some of the bigger chains do enforce drug testing, but I’m sure you can find a random Indian who is looking for a fine young American to exploit. They’ll even sell you wrapping papers. Thank you, come again.

5. Disc Jockey.

Since most of these overrated fools who play other people’s music are employed as contractors or subcontractors, guess what — there’s no employee pee testing! You’re your own boss! I suppose you could pee test yourself, but that might be the beginning of a laughing seizure, and you know how those get — WINK WINK. Fire up your bong in the parking lot with a couple of your closest friends, then bust out that iPod and play songs that only intoxicated fools could appreciate.

4. Investment broker.

This has got to be the coolest job in the world — gambling with other people’s money. And the best part — zero accountability! WOW! That’s got to be incredibly boring, you know, raking in all those commissions from stupid rich people with nothing to lose. What’s a broker to do? Why, get high! Party with prostitutes, drug dealers, pimps, chiropractors, defense attorneys, and other like-minded individuals and don’t worry about the real world. Whatever, bro. Fire up and go get that Mercedes detailed.

3. Politician.

Similar to an investment broker, only with limited accountability, things can get pretty boring in politics. Opposing parties, elections, lobbyists, demonstrators, budget shortfalls, and countless other distractions will impede your ability to do anything constructive. So what’s a brother to do? GET HIGH, MAN! As a matter of fact, there’s a dope sitting in the Oval Office right now, so who’s going to pee test a politician?

2. Sales.

Any kind of sales will do. Think about it — it takes a certain kind of slimy sociopath to willingly lie, cheat, deceive, and do whatever it takes to close a sale. From cars to vacuum cleaners to medical equipment to adult toys, these fake facades often need a little 420 to take the edge off and make the world a little more palatable than it typically seems. The more they make, the more they take.

1. Landscaper.

Finally, forget drug testing, because most landscaping companies will hire anything with a pulse. Especially in Florida. Hydroponics or not, there’ll always be a need for farmers to produce that sweet fake Hawaiian bud. And what better way to get closer to green than by becoming a landscaper? After all, weed is weed. No schooling is necessary. You’re cutting grass, bro. As a matter of fact, no IQ is necessary. It’s always low stress too, dude. It’s not like that crooked hedge won’t grow back, Mrs. Smith.

So no matter what you do and how you toke, don’t worry about it! Just chill, bro. There will always be a job for those who are up in smoke, dudes.

Or, just pretend you need it medically (snicker – wink).

Are We Cooking Our Kids’ Brains?

FACT: All electromagnetic frequencies (EMF) have an effect on the human body. But we’ve never bathed in them like we’re bathing in them today. From 20 or so radio and television stations at a safe distance to countless wireless devices in our living rooms, pockets, and against our brains – we may be the guinea pigs of the electronic revolution. Naysayers say it’s fine. But naysayers said a lot of things were fine in the past – including tobacco, heroin cough syrup, and asbestos.

Are you willing to take that chance with your own children? And do we really have a choice? Check out this video for some surprising findings about EMF radiation occurring in your home, school, or office right now.